Dear Landlord, My Salary is Not an Oil Block – Workers’ Day Edition
“Today we work. Tomorrow we fight rent.”
Introduction: Happy Workers’ Day… But Rent No Gree Smile
Today, the world celebrates the efforts of workers, from janitors to CEOs, bankers to bakers. In Nigeria, we hustle hard. From 5 a.m. commutes to unpredictable office air conditioners and peak-hour danfo drama, our resilience deserves national honour.
But as a proud, employed adult in Nigeria, there’s one battle that reminds you just how far we have to go:
Rent in Abuja. Or Lagos. Or even Lugbe.
So to every landlord charging ₦2.5 million for a one-bedroom that doesn’t have steady light or steady walls, here’s a friendly reminder:
My salary is not an oil block. I no be senator pikin. Respect yourself.
“The Nigerian Salary vs Rent Struggle”
Let’s break it down (mathematically and emotionally):
| Salary Range (Monthly) | Annual Income | “Reasonable” Rent (30% Rule) | Typical Abuja Rent |
|---|---|---|---|
| ₦100,000 | ₦1.2M | ₦360,000 | Lugbe 1-bedroom: ₦700K |
| ₦250,000 | ₦3M | ₦900,000 | Gwarinpa mini-flat: ₦1.5M |
| ₦400,000 | ₦4.8M | ₦1.4M | Jahi or Wuse: ₦2.5M+ |
😩 5 Hilarious Yet Painful Things Tenants Have Heard
🔊 “This house is cheap for bankers like you.”
💬 (I work in a call centre, madam. I bank with the bank. That’s it.)🔮 “You can pay ₦2 million; I see your aura.”
💬 (What you saw was rice stain on my shirt.)🥴 “It’s self-contained with shared kitchen and light.”
💬 (Translation: 8 people will fight for socket space.)📋 “Bring 2 years upfront. It’s policy.”
💬 (Even UN doesn’t demand that for peacekeeping agreements.)💸 “This rent is just small small.”
💬 (Sir, it’s ₦3.8 million. Nothing is small here except my account balance.)
Landlord Logic vs Worker Reality
“You have job. You can pay.”
“I have job. I also have transport, siblings, data plan, generator fuel, and this stomach that likes food.”
Mini Rant Section: What Tenants Really Want to Say
🗣️ “Oga, reduce the rent. The house doesn’t even have running water, just running cockroaches.” 🗣️ “Do you accept rent in exposure? I can tag you on my Instagram story.” 🗣️ “Even Elon Musk doesn’t pay this much for a room without POP ceiling.”
What Can Be Done? (Because Workers Deserve Peace)
- Employers: Consider rent assistance or transport bonuses. A stressed staffer isn’t productive.
- Tenants: Know your rights. You can negotiate. You can say NO
- Landlords: Be human. Not everyone is laundering money or flexing crypto wealth.
- Government: Nigeria needs a real housing policy, not just buildings named after ministers.
My Salary is Not an Oil Block — But I Deserve Peace
As the sun sets on another Workers’ Day, one thing is clear:
We work. We hustle. We move.
And we deserve housing that respects our sweat, not one that mocks it.
So, dear landlord, the next time you quote ₦3 million for a room with a leaking roof, remember:
This worker might not have oil money… but I still get sense.
💬 CALL TO ACTION: 🤣 Have you ever told a landlord the truth on Workers’ Day? Drop your gist in the comments below — let’s laugh, cry, and heal together. 📬 Subscribe to our blog for more true-life real estate stories with no filter. 🏡 Looking for affordable homes without wahala? We’ve got properties that respect your salary and your spirit.